I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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