Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
