yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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