dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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