So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
