I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize