I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
