You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
