this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
