like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
