matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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