Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
