You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
