Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wear drunk well.
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