I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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