i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
