we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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