Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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