So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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