When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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