i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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