Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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