Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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