my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
as a side note pls kill me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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