And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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