i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Randomize
