What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
are you so shy because you have an std?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
