Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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