Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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