AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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