You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
