Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
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That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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