i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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