my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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