Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
