There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
