You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
