I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's like heaven, but drunker
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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