My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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