The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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