I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
