Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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