I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
