No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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