I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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