I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
