WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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