So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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