never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
