Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize