Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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