I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize