Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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