she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
