I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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