just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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