Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
